IMYMLE 040821
TW: Psychological, physical, emotional and sexual abuse and violence
Isn’t it strange how often I still try with you Even after everything I still want to talk and see you I still miss you I still think about who you were back then Even though you hurt me, I am still tied to you It hurts me knowing this But some bonds can never be cleanly severed You were not good to me, Nor were you good for me It’s been five years now and you have stopped trying You do not bother calling or texting or looking for me No, I never answered but, I still saw I still knew I mattered to you, I scooped you out and tossed you aside Like some tumorous mass stuck inside of me I left and didn’t try coming around Now it seems you have done the same to everyone else I see that you married him And I know that you chose him Yet, here I am still writing, Still crying, Still haunted by the things you did Stained by what you put me through Even now you still cannot hear me Even now you still cannot see me Perhaps time cannot heal everything, Or perhaps it is just us who cannot heal Maybe we are too far broken Maybe too much time has passed Maybe you were never willing to be there Maybe I just wasn’t enough Maybe you were never going to be who I needed you to be So, why do I still miss you?