Lost in the Words 040821
TW: Psychological, physical, emotional and sexual abuse and violence
I am sorry
I am sorry for how I lose it
For the way I cannot control myself
For the explosion of emotions
The bursts of apologies
Piling of words in my episodes of oversharing
Because after it all
I barely know you
And to think you barely know me
These stories and these ramblings
Words I bury myself in
A way to drown out the noise of what is around me
A language meant to connect and share
Instead it acts as a barrier I shield myself with
Priding myself in being an open book
Airing out all my history and past
While not letting anyone see the person who has lived it all
I am sorry for being chaos
I am sorry for being fearful and scared
For pretending to want to be seen
For the way I push people away
And how I blame the world for me not having a place.
